Have you ever suffered or thought about why do humans suffer? Is someone close to you currently suffering, a family member, a friend, a colleague? I’ll bet you know somebody that is!
The big question many people ask, whether they seek help or not is, “Why do I have to suffer so much, why do humans suffer? A straight forward open-ended question, right, what would be your answer?
It appears in today’s world, humans are experiencing this more now than ever, or is it just that we have the World Wide Web, the different media news outlets at our finger tips, and human suffering is purposely put on the screens in front of our eyes for ratings. I have my own opinions about this, what are yours? Have you ever worked for a public or private media company?
Regardless, whether suffering appears to be on the rise more now than ever, or has always been an issue is another topic of conversation. The question still remains, why do we as humans suffer?
This is a question I’ve always pondered since I was in the depths of earning my Master’s Degree in Counseling Psychology. In my research and studies, learning the different philosophies and theories from deep thinkers past and current, to counseling and coaching clients, I can truthfully say there is no one simple answer, as we have different belief systems around the world from practical to spiritual, to the in between, and then some.
One thing for sure, humans are very complex, no matter how we look at it, and most of what we have been taught stems from some 8000 or more different cultures and ethnic groups, to roughly 4,200 religions around the world. We are not all that simple, and that is a fact.
We are like sponges soaking up whatever we see, feel, hear, sense, and touch in all of the different relationships we have with others in our lives, whether we are conscious of it or not. In other words, our mind and body absorbs and responds to the stimulus in our daily environments, the negative or positive interaction we have with others, family members, close relatives, friends, colleagues, the community, religion, art and so forth. We take in and respond at a hidden level to the type of interactive communication that is being used, i.e., short tempered or understanding, non-caring or loving, impatient or patience, through verbal and non-verbal body language and cues as some examples.
Think about your interactions today so far, what kinds of emotions were evoked in you? What did you do with what you were feeling, express it or stuff it? Why?
One theory or what many psychotherapists, mental health practitioners, and spiritual teachers believe the root cause of suffering derives from is through being conditioned. From the moment we are conceived in our mother’s womb, until we whisper our last farewell prayer on our death bed.
Eckhart Tolle in his book Stillness Speaks explains his philosophy. In Chapter eight relationships – “Every human being has been conditioned to think and behave in certain ways, conditioned genetically as well as by their childhood experiences and their cultural environment. That is not who they are, but that is who they appear to be. When you pronounce judgment upon someone you confuse those conditioned mind patterns with who they are. To do that is in itself a deeply conditioned and unconscious pattern.
You give them a conceptual identity, and that false identity becomes a prison, not only for the other person but also for yourself. To let go of judgment does not mean that you don’t see what they do; it means that you recognize their behavior as a form of conditioning, and you see it and accept it as that”.
What Eckhart is saying in my opinion is conditioning is an external source that modifies who we truly are. As such, we wear a type of mask, a façade of sorts; and live each day in an assortment of artificial bodies and minds to conceal who we really are inside.
So we do live in a type of prison then, with a false identity. And this is not who we really are on the surface which is covered in layers and layers of generational history, family members, other people, and society’s expectations.
Think about how many times you look in the mirror in any given day, why do you do that, are you covering something up? The conditioning overtime covers up the essence of who you really are, your true nature, and because of this you are so very confused not knowing who you really are anymore.
The good news is we can turn this around, maybe not 100% percent, but we sure can make a big dent.
It starts with education, asking questions, looking at one’s family generational history and how that contributed. Once human beings realize how conditioned they are is a liberating feeling, resulting in opportunities for them to change the relationship they have with themselves and others.
And once the person becomes aware and understands how they got to where they are today, the suffering and pain begins to dissolve leaving space to move forward toward a new understanding of life, and choosing how they really want to be living.
To help a client to tap into their true essence, you can help them out with a simple but powerful horse activity.
Connecting with Stillness through the Gifts of Horse
Purpose is to help suppress the mind chatter and connect with your true essence.
Stand comfortably near a horse, no touching. Stand approximately 10 to 20 feet facing the horse, and the horse facing you if possible. You are to connect with only one horse, not the whole herd.
You will need to stand very still, arms at side, listen and look at the horse, at their beautiful deep brown, black, or blue eyes. Now notice how “Still” the horse is, just “Being a horse”, and use this to help you to allow the stillness deep within you to arise in you, just let it rise slowly to the surface.
Now take some deep breaths and feel the ground beneath your feet, continue to be very still in your mind and body, and as you do this become aware of any feelings of admiration, love, beauty, or appreciation you have toward the horse, anything you feel toward the horse.
When you feel that special something, close your eyes for a moment and just feel the essence of that admiration, love, beauty, or appreciation, whatever you are feeling within yourself at a very deep level, fully taking it in for a few moments. Just feel it, and breathe it in, feel it, and let it resonate throughout your whole body, almost as if you have an electrical charge, a shiver of sorts.
At conclusion of exercise, process with client what they felt. Tell them, what you were feeling was “Oneness” with the horse, you were feeling “Love both in you and coming from the horse”. And those feelings are who you really are inside, it’s your true essence, and you can never leave them, they are a part of you, your makeup, as it is an internal intelligence coming from source, GOD, the divine, name it what you will. It’s consciousness looking at its creation in horse and human form, it’s the way to stop suffering and pain.
So I would love to hear from you. What do you believe suffering is all about, and what can we do to help others?
Love and stillness,
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