Creating Your Own Life’s Kingdom

“Life is a kind of Chess, with struggle, competition, good and ill events” – Benjamin Franklin

As I read Benjamin’s quote, it brings up thoughts of how I metaphorically lived my own game of chess in life. And how each move I made, the decisions into the unknown, laid out a predetermined path for my future. I’d like to share a tidbit of my journey so you can see how my game was played. I will then share 4 tips you can use to help you get started in creating what you want and how you can play out your own game.

The early years of my life were filled with love, life and laughter, and then came middle school and being bullied. I was used as a pawn by some class mates and as if that was not enough my parents went through a difficult divorce, leaving my sisters and I having to make difficult moves. My calm and comfortable life had changed; my mother, sisters and I had to leave the countryside and our four legged furry friends behind…the horses, cats and dogs.

These furry creatures, the knights were my reinforcements, my safe friends. And more than just four legged armored protectors, they were warm angels that helped me to escape some hurting teenagers demeaning words that were so damaging to my soul.

As a result, I became a champion player at people pleasing, manipulating the connection and boosting the well-being of others to avoid being rejected. I sacrificed my own needs and in the process developed a keen sense of awareness. I learned how to tap into people’s body language and their emotional energy. Today, I consider that a gift as it helps me understand people at a deeper level, and how to help them.

Do you relate with any of this? Did kids in school or any one bully you? Did your parents go through a divorce, affecting your outlook on life?

As time progressed, I learned to maneuver, metaphorically speaking, the chess game of life; approaching each move with a strategy of suppressing my feelings to avoid feeling rejected. I played the role of pawn, working hard and devaluing myself while adhering to society’s rules, pressures and expectations. The rook, using a strong wall of defensive barriers to prevent others from entering my domain, and exerting control over manipulating others so they would like me. A knight, who even though I was highly educated, still lacked the self-confidence in believing in myself to moving forward. And a bishop, where I tried to connect with the mysteries and wonders of life, and connecting with that inner truth, but I didn’t understand how to make that happen.

As I was making the moves, I started to question if I would ever become the queen of my kingdom. How would I stand in my truth, in what we call life? I lived and played the roles of daughter, sister, wife, mother, student and friend, and entered the corporate world for two decades as a worker bee.  I did what institutions, society, family, religion, etc. expected of me. I played it safe and followed all of the rules. But then I faced checkmate.

After experiencing a terrible car accident with a deer and years later a horrific pit bull attack while riding my horse, I was propelled into questioning how we as human beings on earth “Live Life.”

I hit a wall and could not live the same old game anymore, something had to change. And then I experienced a new and different kind of turn!

While I was playing my predefined game, I was also healing and dissolving my past and decided I was finished with playing an inharmonious game, I decided to listen to my intuition, that inner voice that knew the truth, and create my personal kingdom. I wanted to live with purpose and meaning in my life, more richness, authentic connections and feeling alive.

I invested in numerous personal development and educational workshops where I started to identify with who I most want to be, and what I really want to be doing.

The energy was shifting and it felt so right!  I enrolled in graduate school and traveled the United States expanding on what I was feeling, and a determination to live my best life.

As a result, I created my unique private practice with programs, and so many of them included partnering with horses. So many lives were touched over the years in such a positive and profound way that eventually I was being called to teach this to others and started the Equine Assisted Coaching Association.

What I witnessed over the years is so many people live a quiet life of desperation, are confused, and many times feeling alone. They push aside that subliminal message that is trying to get their attention, only to find themselves stuck in a corner, a confinement with nowhere to go. That is what happened to me, until I said “NO MORE”. I wanted freedom and my own kingdom.

You too can conquer your kingdom and create what you want in life.

4 Tips to Help You Get Started in Creating Your Own Life’s Kingdom

1). Slow down, calmness, breathe. Today’s society is telling us to push ourselves more than ever. With the arrival of the World Wide Web, deadlines, multitasking, meetings, other voices, we are feeling the pressure, but it is taking a toll on how we live our lives. Our bodies and minds were not meant to take the constant stress and pressure, leaving no room for anything else.  Did you feel under stress or pressure today, yesterday, last week, last month? When was the last time you took time out for yourself, had fun and learned new things about yourself?

Purposely slowing down and taking time for your personal growth, is so needed for your overall well being. If you are saying yes, but thinking I have to many things I need to get done, or have to do, you need to prioritize and say to yourself, “Can it wait or can I get help?”

When you follow society’s expectations to determine what you want in your life, you are giving your power away. You are depending on others to make the decisions for you. Take back your power and make your own moves. When you slow down and take time for yourself, this is when the answers and guidance from within surface to help you create what you want. If you do not do this, there is very little chance for creating what you really want.

2). Ask yourself “What is missing in my life” –  be honest. Is it a purpose, a healthier relationship, friends, contentment, happiness? What do you really want, what does your heart desire? Be precise. Consciously build yourself into the person you want to become, do not slide into auto-pilot. Choose how you want to live your life, it’s your life!

3). Ask yourself “Why do I want this?” What are your reasons, is it leading to a more fulfilling life, helping others, burning out with your current career/job, making this a better world, health? Think of it as something you “must do”. Also, think about it in terms of years later, will you regret not taking a risk?

4). Take action. Sitting and waiting for what you want to come into your life will not automatically appear. You have to take responsibility and do what is necessary to help you move forward, even if it is not a calculated move. Once you know what you want and why you want it, your mind, your inner compass, will work with you in creating your own “Life’s Kingdom”.

Come up with a doable action plan, set some goals, write it out on paper. The idea is to put the focus into moving forward, even if they are small moves, as where the focus goes the energy flows. Don’t worry about the details; instead focus on the “must do” actions. Use your purpose as a motivator.

Ask yourself what could be more important than creating what you really want in life. When you know what you really want and why you want it, getting the results becomes much easier.  Experiencing the treasures of life and deciding powerful moves in your kingdom are up to you…you can do it, it’s your birthright! If you don’t, you will leave it up to someone else to decide the moves for you.

It’s your turn…

I’d love to hear some of the specific actions you are taking to create your own “Life’s Kingdom” in the comments below.

Much love and may you have the most magical game.