ACT I – Limiting Beliefs

Susan was not happy with her job anymore, and wanted to make some changes, but kept going back to her history and what she experienced for the answers.

“I can’t do what I really want,” said Susan, “I’m not good enough, others are better than me, and I don’t have the money to fulfill my desires,” became Susan’s limiting belief’s mantra and story line.

“Are you sure?” said the Equine Assisted Coach. “Yes, I am!” In reply, the Equine Assisted Coach asked her again. “Are you 100% sure, you know without a shadow of a doubt that you are not good enough, others are better than you, and you don’t have the money? Who is telling you this, where is the proof?”

Susan takes a few moments to think about what she heard and then responded with a blank stare, sending a facial message that something was starting to shift within her. Then she said, “OK, how are my limiting beliefs, my story formed, and how do I change it so I can create what I really want?”

ACT II – The Creation of Susan’s Limiting Beliefs     

The Equine assisted coach replied, “They are formed through an event, an incident, or something that happened overtime when you were younger. It’s something that you felt and gave it meaning, an interpretation, because you were trying to make sense of what is happening.”

“Your survival becomes a primary objective, and then you lose perspective. So, when you feel excessive pain and pressure, you withdraw and fade into a different world, a safe place that is internally created.” And as a result of this experience, you feel you have to please others, especially to avoid rejection, thus changing yourself to fit what you think are the expectations and demands of others.”

Susan shifts the weight of her body and takes a step putting her hand on the horse she is standing next to.

 

“Here’s another way to look at it,” says the Equine Assisted Coach. “When a youngster has a negative experience, it leaves an imprint in their body and their mind, and this meaning or interpretation has an emotional charge that becomes a part of their character. It’s an involuntary piece of their identity that shadows her or him into adult hood, and who they think they are or should be. The youngster settles without asking questions, because they are not mature enough to ask what is happening or why, or they are told to keep quiet, and this becomes their story line.”

Susan glances a soft eye on the horse and exhales a deep sigh.

“So here’s an example that may help you. Lynette and Lori are twins, they grew up in the same household and experienced the same event, their parent’s divorce, but each of them interpreted it in a different way, they each gave a different meaning and how it affected them. One of the twins looked at her parents getting a divorce because of something she did with getting into trouble with the law. For many years after the divorce she developed a belief that her parents loved her sister more, and is their favorite. Whereas, the other twin did not want her parents to get divorced and was hurt by it, but accepted it.”

Susan was starting to understand how she got to where she is today, and felt compelled to see parts of her past from a different perspective, something she had never considered before. She wanted to know more. The Equine Assisted Coach took a small step closer to Susan making sure she could hear her.

“As a child, your interpretations are formed and that becomes a main thread intertwined with different aspects of your character, thus developing a story line. Think about all of the different beliefs people may have told you. Maybe a friend told you about when they were younger that she believed her parents loved her brother more because he was in sports and got better grades, or a co-worker told you she felt as if she did not fit in with her friends because she was overweight.  And then there is comparison among siblings, stirring up feelings of inadequacy.”

As the Equine Assisted Coach observes Susan and what the horse is doing she says, “All of these painful beliefs that people feel at a deeper level are brought to the surface, and this is what the horse mirrors back to you.”

Equine Assisted Coach or Future Equine Assisted Coach, do you have any limiting beliefs such as, “Others are smarter than me,” or “I’ll never amount to anything,” to “I’m not pretty enough?” And one of the biggest common limiting beliefs is, “I have to please others to avoid feeling rejected.” (Did you know that pleasing is actually a form of manipulation?) Then you probably know what Susan is feeling, no fun right. Amazing how our limiting beliefs have such a strong hold on us, stopping us from doing what we really want to be doing, or who we really want to be.

Susan’s body softens and the horse turns his head around, positioning it closer to Susan’s heart, as if to say, “Where have you been, I’ve been waiting for you to reconnect with your true self, so I can connect with you!” Gentle tears start to softly roll down her cheeks, and some deep breaths are released.

“WOW, this is so powerful!” says Susan. “I’m getting what happened with me, it’s starting to make so much more sense now. No wonder why the horse was reacting to me the way he did the last couple of sessions, almost as if he was distant and didn’t like me. But that was not true, and here all along I was creating another limiting belief that he did not like me, which was not true.”

The session is now moving to a close with Susan and the horse intertwined into a type of pretzel hug.

“WOW” Susan blurted out and then said, “It was not him at all, it was all about me and what I was feeling inside.” Susan’s face lightens up with a big smile.

THE EQUINE ASSISTED COACH AND SUSAN TAKE A 7-DAY INTERLUDE

ACT III – Dissolving Limiting Beliefs to Create What You Really Want  

The Equine Assisted Coach and Susan meet again for her next session, and the objective for the Equine Assisted Coach is to share her story as she sees Susan is doing great. The Equine Assisted Coach feels if she shares how she dissolved her limiting beliefs, and is living life her way, that she can support her client with doing the same. There is something about a person’s true life story that offers inspiration, and credibility.

“Susan, you are doing wonderful, so I’d like to share my story and how I changed it, because I feel it will support you in creating what you really want. Would you like to hear it?” “Yes, I would” said Susan…and she was all ears.

The Equine Assisted Coach and Susan sit comfortably near horses while observing them grazing in a grassy field.

“Great, so here is my old story. When I entered middle school, I was teased by two boys, at first I did not know why because this never happened to me before. Then I realized it was because of my crooked upper teeth, seems a bit odd, right? Or maybe not. At first it did not bother me, but eventually got worst and for two years I felt as if I was the center of attention, with all of the kids in my classroom staring at me. I’ll never forget how I sat really still in my desk as if I was a museum wax statue, not moving a muscle, because I wanted to be invisible. And if I had a Harry Potter Invisibility Cloak, it would have come in really handy.”

“Oh my,” says Susan

“The boys said such hurtful things and called me names, and the one that stung the most was “Bucky.” When they called me that, they may have just bruised me with a stone, because that is how deep the pain was. I felt so unwanted and alone that I went to the horses to feel better, they accepted me never once making fun of me or calling me derogatory names. I became so shut down with suppressing my feelings that I experienced symptoms of anxiety and panic attacks for many years.  And somewhere in the mix I also developed limiting beliefs, I’m unwanted, I’m not good enough, and others are better than me.”

The Equine Assisted Coach did not want Susan to feel sorry for her so she changed her tune.

“But there’s an upside to all of this Susan and this is the magic of being with horses. I noticed when I was with the horses and had no agenda, other than to just be and wanting to play with them, that they could feel what I was expressing to the world through my energy and my body, the persona I took on.”

“So you too had limiting beliefs, a story, thank you for sharing, that really helps me,” said Susan.

“I did and I changed it, first with understanding how they were formed, and then through challenging what I was expressing to the world with two questions, “Am I 100% sure I’m unwanted, I’m not good enough, and others are better than me? Where’s the proof? And that worked, I had a fresh perspective to start with, and that felt so true to me.”

“So, each time you have one of those limiting beliefs, remember to be gentle with yourself and ask the 2 questions.

1. “Am I 100% sure?”
2. “Where is the proof?”

Equine Assisted Coach or Future Equine Assisted Coach. You, too, may have had some old limiting beliefs you carried around for a while but found a way to dissolve them. What did you do?  I’d love to know!

_______________________ ≈ _______________________

Pam’s Closing Thoughts

Equine Assisted Coach or Future Equine Assisted Coach. The Equine Assisted Coach in the story with the boys was me. Looking back over my late teen years, I had created a story and because of that was creating my own stage performance, a Broadway Show in its own right, and would have titled it, How to Be Ghost Like and Hide from the World.  Isn’t that why so many fantasy books are written and movies are made? I was living with a delusion that I created for myself, and became invisible.

But who would want to see that show? Nobody is my guess. However, one never knows, right!

It was time to dissolve my limiting beliefs, my story, as the stage play I was creating for my life was about living in a cage. The emotional pain I was feeling was exceeding the reward of living a much more deserving and abundant life, and I have a birth right to live my life the way I want.

Creating a new way of living was something I had not really thought about, until an accumulation of life’s experiences was guiding me to make a decision. It was a natural unfolding that evolved into me taking a stand to free myself of the limiting belief’s cage I had locked myself into. I discovered through my journey of questioning, healing, using ancient methods and spending present moment time with horses in nature, that if I took on a new perspective about my old story, I could find the key and free myself of the pain and suffering.

The old story I created in my mind, my perception was the boys did not like me because of my crooked teeth, I looked ugly to them and did not fit in with the teens. I did not know it at the time, but I was easy prey, a misfit of sorts, just like Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer.

But that story was losing its glitz and glamour on me, something inside wanted to question it’s truth. And SO, I started asking questions with the biggest one being, “Did I know without a shadow of a doubt that they did not like me because of my teeth?” I gave deep thought to it, and what surfaced was “NO!”

This meant it was time to unlock the limiting beliefs cage, throw away the key and jump into full action, to create what I really want in life!

At first, I struggled with dissolving my limiting beliefs, but then realized that my perception, the truth, is the two boys were living with really deep seated problems that were not mine, and I was unknowingly absorbing their pain. It was not me that they did not like, it was my crooked teeth that were easy visual prey for them to pounce on.

I learned I did not know HOW to escape the predator attacks and shake off the internal negative vibrations that were flooding throughout my body, but rather I was absorbing their negative energy into my body and my mind.

SIDE-NOTE: WHICH IS WHY MANY HEALERS AND HELPERS ARE CALLED EMPATHS.

Through growing up with and through experience, I learned and witness how horses help release limiting beliefs that are stored in a person’s body.  They gently challenge the overall controlling influence, while purging the pain points. They have an innate ability to awaken what has been lying dormant, and arousing it into freedom of expression.

And, because of horses, sentient beings that I like to call angels in disguise, I learned how to turn my story around by questioning my interpretation, AND forming a different perception, resulting in a new Broadway Show in it’s own right.

Which play would you go to see?

Love and horse hugs,

 

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